Friday, May 22, 2009

Interview with the Lambert: The True Idol

This is an imagined situation in Haz Wayne's World where The Keongomaniac interviews Adam Lambert after his defeat to the Criminal Kris Allen.

As The Keongomaniac sat comfortably at the Starbucks of Dame Audrey Palace, he waited with full anticipation the entrance of Adam Lambert, the runner-up for American Idol Season 8. Moments later the door opens to reveal a rather calm-looking Adam, 27, spotting a simple blue and green chequered top with jeans. The Keongomaniac stood in awe the presence of The True Idol, and was returned with a customary handshake and a great smile.

ADAM: So sorry to have kept you waiting... I understand you are a very busy man. (still smiling)

KEONGOMANIAC: No, not at all! It is my greatest pleasure to have the honour of this interview. You do know that here in Haz Wayne's World, you have been called "The True Idol"?

ADAM: So I heard! And thank you, I am deeply flattered. But no I cannot accept that, America voted for Kris, he IS the American Idol. He was my roommate and a great guy, and I am truly proud of him.

KEONGOMANIAC: Oh but the laws of the world does not apply the same here, Adam. Here you are our True Idol, as the legions of your fans would concur. And speaking of Kris Allen, he is technically still a Criminal, and we have to refer him as such.

ADAM: U guys are so mean! Kris is talented in his own right. Maybe because many did not expect him to go so far, but I've seen him from the start, and that guy certainly has his own merits.

KEONGOMANIAC: Which I do not doubt, of course (smirking). Well in case you have not read, after the show last night, the Billboard website declared the Criminal Kris's win a "surprise victory". So new judge Kara DioGuardi was right to say he was the "dark horse" in the competition?

ADAM: Err.. I'm not sure what to say about that. But it is still a popularity competition of sorts, so I think the results can still go either ways even at the very last minute.

KEONGOMANIAC: That's right, and therein lies the problem. Danny Gokey was never in the Bottom 2, and his elimination in favour of the Criminal Kris sent shockwaves throughout the world. Danny and yourself Adam, have been the favourites of Paula Abdul right from the beginning to be in the finals. The Criminal appeared out of nowhere to unseat Danny. This is a classic case of the underdog winning the race!

ADAM: Erm like I said, Kris is a talented chap too. And can you please stop calling him "the Criminal"?!

KEONGOMANIAC: Talented?? Not when he desecrated Donna Summer's She Works Hard For The Money in Disco Week! Oh and I'm sorry Adam, only with Tuanku His Majesty the Sultan's pardon can his criminal record be removed.

ADAM: Okaaay... I just don't understand why you guys are being so hard on him?

KEONGOMANIAC: Well I have watched the entire Season 8 from the beginning. Like all competitions, I believe the most deserving ought to receive what he or she deserves. And in this case, it is crystal clear there are those more deserving than him to win! (like yourself Adam... don't tell me you don't feel that way)

ADAM: Well it is still a voting contest...

KEONGOMANIAC: True! Thus it becomes a matter of public opinion isn't it, and less to do with talents. I'd wanted both you and Danny to be in the Finals because it would be the perfect finale for a perfect Season 8! Come on, the finals performance show between you and Kris was the most boring part of the entire freakin' season! Don't even get me started on the Criminal's singing of No Boundaries. Good God the horror of it! That is your Idol, America?? Shame on you guys.

ADAM: I really don't know what to say, you guys are so mean... (looking genuinely sad)

KEONGOMANIAC: It's alright Adam. I just feel a Adam-Danny showdown would be way better than a Adam-Kris, vocal performance-wise, that's all I'm sayin' dude. He's not your match. I wouldn't have mind a Adam-Matt, or a Adam-Anoop, or even Adam-Allison! That would be the greatest showdown ever! And I'm sure you remember, the Criminl Kris Allen himself said "Adam deserves this" after he was crowned winner! Need I say more!

ADAM: (sat silently with his eyes fixed on The Keongomaniac, mesmerised by the conviction the famed blogger has for him)

KEONGOMANIAC: Erm, I see you have no comments for that. And may I add, after the Criminal was announced the new American Idol, all the judges gave a standing ovation EXCEPT head judge Simon Cowell. He remained sitted! This is maybe the first time he remained sitted when the other 3 judges stood up, because usually he will do so as well. Yes he did give a congratulatory handshake to Kris later on, but we cannot deny the plain fact that Simon felt you deserve it more, Adam...

ADAM: (still too stunned for words, a little teary-eyed)

KEONGOMANIAC: You are the only contestant who had done more than the rest, surprising us with each performance. Week after week you take great efforts to renew yourself. You are the True Idol, Adam. America just did not see that.

ADAM: (speaking at last) I don't blame America. I am truly grateful for the experience and exposure. American Idol is just the beginning for most of us, it will open a lot of doors.

KEONGOMANIAC: You are right again, Adam. I think many of the Top 13 can cut albums and make a whole career out of it, including you. If Kris winning is about 'how commercial' or 'mainstream' he is, I'd say that's bullshit. If anything, I am glad for the platform this competition gave the likes of you, Danny, Matt, Anoop, Megan and Allison. Or the Bikini Girl for that matter! Hahaha. But still, you still deserve to win.

ADAM: But I did not, so... I guess this is when "being good is not good enough"? Isn't that one of your LiveJournal entry titles?

KEONGOMANIAC: Oh gosh! (blushing) I didn't know you read them!

ADAM: Well it's in the Internet, I happened to chance upon them. You're a good and enlightened writer (giving a quick wink of the eye).

KEONGOMANIAC: (blushes even more) Oh! Don't do that! Hehe. Well I am enlightened enough to recognise talent where it matters, regardless of who you are. May I take a dig at the Net speculations over your sexual orientation given the supposed exposed pictures of you kissing other males, and in drag?

ADAM: (unfazed) Well like I've said before, I am who I am, I have nothing to hide. [Keongomaniac Note: This is an actual quote]

KEONGOMANIAC: There are some who claims that this may be the reason for the sudden dip in your popularity votes towards the end, after the release of this net photos which can be Googled oh-so-easily. I am just disgusted if that is truly the case. Like I said, all of Haz Wayne's World stood by you for your talents and how much you deserve the Idol title, not by biased unrelated things like your orientation, which BTW, is totally your problem, not theirs.

ADAM: I'm loving you already man. (smiling)

KEONGOMANIAC: (shifts in his seat) Well, Season 2 runner-up Clay Aiken recently came out of his closet, after staunchly denying it for years. Given that you are almost in the same situation as him, being the runner-up, can we expect the same from you then?

ADAM: (laughs heartily) Hahaha! Well I never did deny anything at the first place did I?

KEONGOMANIAC: Well okay, Adam (smiling sincerely). I'm afraid that is all the time we have for now. Thanks very much for agreeing to this. We pray for your future success. And you will always be The True Idol in Haz Wayne's World, no matter what.

ADAM: (standing) Yeah I'll send a petition to the Sultan for Kris's pardon okay. And thank you... I really appreciate this. (comes closer to give The Keongomaniac a warm thank-you hug)

KEONGOMANIAC: No problem Adam... (before he could say anything more The Keongomaniac felt a lip-glossed peck on his left cheek)

ADAM: Thank you again. (smiling with his eyes, the True Idol turns to leave the cafe)
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Saturday, May 16, 2009

Kris Allen declared a Criminal in Haz Wayne's World

Kristopher Neil Allen, retardedly known simply as Kris Allen, 23, has been formally charged with Grand Theft in Haz Wayne's World. The first-ever publicised Keongomaniac Criminal, Kris Allen's existence has been described by the Philosopher-King as "dangerous and subversive" and decreed by Tuanku His Majesty the Sultan himself as a "clear threat to world peace".
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By going against The Keongomaniac's choice of Adam Lambert VS Danny Gokey in the finals of American Idol Season 8, the Criminal Kris Allen has stolen the well-deserved spot of Danny, and thus caused disequilibrium to the common order. Should the Criminal wins the American Idol, it would break all chances for the show to be the first-ever Keongomaniac TV Programme of the Year in the 4th Keongomania Awards.
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For the first time ever in Haz Wayne's World, The Keongomaniac has not missed a single episode of the American Idol reality programme. The Criminal Kris's inclusion in the Finals is likened to "the most painful experience in TV since Sylvester Sim became the finalist for Singapore Idol Season 1".
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Protesters in Haz Wayne's World have lined up outside the Dame Audrey Palace, the venue where the American Idol show is aired weekly every Wednesdays and Thursdays via big screens. In a world where injustice and unfairness is vigorously fought against, in the words of one protestor's placard, they "can't believe (they) still have to protest this crap". Another said: "SWINE FLU TO ALLEN". Gee, harsh but angrily appropriate.

Adam Lambert the True American Idol

The only thing left to do now is to ensure the capture the Criminal Kris Allen so as to prevent him from winning the American Idol, which now truly belongs to Adam Lambert. Hopes are now high for the Criminal to be dismembered and rendered disable to perform, which would allow Danny Gokey to take his rightful place in the finals with Adam.

How could America be so wrong as to eliminate Danny Gokey? We pray for the Criminal Kris Allen's utter destruction. All of Haz Wayne's World appeal to the American audience to vote for ADAM LAMBERT, the TRUE AMERICAN IDOL!

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

2008's Songs of the Year Reduced!

In an all not too surprising a move, The Keongomaniac revised last year's Keongomaniac Songs of the Year, first revealed in the 3rd Keongomania Awards held early this year. The original list includes an unprecendeted 15 songs being named Keongomaniac Songs of the Year, a stark contrast when compared to only 3 Songs of the Year in 2007.
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In essence, the changes include the removing of 5 songs from the coveted list, leaving it with a standardised 10. While they are of no particular order, the numbers reflects the approximate chronology of its local radio release.
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Songs that were removed:
  • Disenchanted - My Chemical Romance
  • Piece of Me - Britney Spears, Princess of Pop (Haz Wayne's World)
  • 4 Minutes - Madonna feat. Justin Timberlake
  • American Boy - Estelle feat. Kanye West
  • Make It Mine - Jason Mraz
4 Minutes however was slatted as a Special Mention for Keongomaniac Songs of the Year. A Special Mention is not a full-fledged Keongomaniac Recognition ("of-the-year" award), but a somewhat subdued version (thus cannot earn the Blue Border, but a recognition nonetheless). The other 2 Special Mentions remain unchanged. Back in 2007, Elliot Yamin's Wait For You was the only Special Mention in the Songs Category.


The Keongomaniac is notoriously known to make changes to priorly-published awards and recognitions. This however is the first revision made to the results of the latest 3rd Keongomania Awards.
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With these revisions at the Songs Category, Leona Lewis remains thus as the only singer to have 2 of her songs (Bleeding Love and Better In Time) as Keongomaniac Songs of the Year. Jason Mraz, who originally have 2 songs as well (I'm Yours and Make It Mine) is now only left with one. Indonesian band ST12's PUSPA remains as the Non-English Song of the Year, and Mariah Carey, Queen of the Music Arena (Haz Wayne's World), also retains the most prestigious recognition of Keongomaniac Overall Song of the Year with I'll Be Lovin' You Long Time.
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Friday, May 1, 2009

Adam Lambert Kissed Matt Giraud on Elimination?

Did Adam Lambert kissed eliminated Matt Giraud on the American Idol results show last night? Some netizens certainly think so. There was a small debate whether it was an actually kiss, or simply looked like one from the TV's angle.
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The actual surprise though, is Adam Lambert, a frontrunner for Season 8's finals, being at the Bottom 2. In a stunning turn of events, Allison Iraheta (who have been in the Bottom 3 three times) was the first 2 to be saved together with Danny Gokey. The Idol-unworthy Kris Allen was placed in the Bottom 3 for the first time with Adam Lambert, but the latter was revealed to be the Bottom 2.
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Matt Giraud has already of course been eliminated 2 weeks back but was saved. This is also the third time he was in the Bottom 2.

Adam Gay?
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The 'kiss' controversy comes amid net allegations that Adam Lambert is gay, given leaked photos of him kissing another person of the same gender and supposed 'drag' pictures of him surfaced in the Internet (the pictures will not be published in Keongomaniac Khronicles after protestations in Haz Wayne's World).
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Was this the reason for Adam's lack of votes? In a competition where talent should prevail above any other traits, we should not be allowed to be coloured in our opinion. The Keongomaniac on the other hand, still stand by Adam Lambert and Danny Gokey to be the finalists of American Idol Season 8.
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Video of the Results Show:

http://www.supernovatube.com/play.php?viewkey=9c5f30aef3929e1810e4

Yahoo Discussion on Adam's 'Kiss':

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20090430050239AADceKx

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